Pokebleach
by Itavita
Summary: Orihime Inoue is a new Bleachmon trainer just beginning her journey. Can she become a Bleachmon master with the help of her somber Ulqui?  A series of crossover ficlets inspired by concept art over at the capslock ulori livejournal community.
1. In the PokeCenter

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Pokemon.

Notes: I wrote this crossover purely for the lulz and to get this scene out of my head. (Crossposting this story to from the capslock_ulori community over on Livejournal.)

=0=

Orihime sighed as she sat in one of the overstuffed chairs near the entrance of the poke-center. Closing her eyes, she thought about all that had happened today. Battles, battles, and more battles. It seemed like all she'd been doing for the past three days was walking, battling, and catching sleep and a quick meal whenever she could. She'd never realized how tedious it could be to be a trainer, and after the day she'd had, she almost wished she hadn't left her hotel room that morning.

Bending down, Orihime placed her knapsack on the floor beside her. Pausing a moment, she glanced hesitantly at the pokeball nestled in the side pocket of her bag. Biting her lip, Orihime wrestled with the decision of whether to let Ulqui out of his ball. The nurse had said he'd fully recovered from their earlier battles, but Orihime was still a bit nervous about bringing him out so soon after his treatment.

Another moment of indecision passed before Orihime made up her mind. It would be okay to bring Ulqui out as long as she let him rest. Nodding sternly, she plucked the pokeball from the side pocket of her bag and sat back in her chair. Placing the pokeball in her lap, she pressed the small button to release the Bleachmon inside.

With a flash of green light, Ulqui appeared in her lap, his expression as dead-pan as she'd ever seen it. By now, Orihime had realized that Ulqui always looked like that, and would probably never change. It didn't really bother her all that much, though. To be honest, she found his constant look of sadness and boredom to be rather cute. Not like she'd actually tell him, however.

"Ulqui-Ulqui." Ulqui said, sounding tired but otherwise well. He stood steadily on his owner's knees, staring up at her with wide green eyes and his hands planted firmly in his pockets. This, too, was something he did constantly, but it was apparently a trait shared among all Ulquis, so Orihime didn't let it bother her.

"Hello Ulqui." Orihime said cheerfully, tucking the pokeball between her leg and the arm of the chair. "How are you feeling?"

"Ul-Ulqui." He answered, moving to sit on her lap.

"That's good." Orihime said, smiling as she helped him get settled. When Ulqui was resting against her belly, Orihime bent to the side to reach into her bag, making sure to keep one hand on her Bleachmon to steady him. Rooting through the various items in her bag, she stopped when she felt something squish between her fingers. Gripping the object, she pulled it out and showed it to Ulqui.

"I bought this while you were being treated." She said, holding the plastic-wrapped piece of pokesnack cake for Ulqui to see. "One of the ladies at the front desk said you'd like this, and that it would help you feel better. Do you want to try some?"

Ulqui eyed the snack for a moment before looking up at his owner, offering a quiet, "Ulqui" in answer.

Taking that as a "Yes", Orihime unwrapped the yellow cake. Balling up the used plastic, she set it beside the pokeball at her hip. As she moved to hand the snack to her Ulqui, Orihime paused. Watching the quiet Bleachmon, she could see that he wasn't making any move to take his hands from his pockets. Did he usually eat with his hands? She wasn't sure. Granted, she'd only had Ulqui for a little over a week now and hadn't actually watched him eat before, but still.

Kicking herself for not paying proper attention to her Bleachmon's eating habits, Orihime wondered how she was going to go about feeding the pokesnack to her Ulqui.

"Err, would you like me to hold it for you?" She asked, unsure. When he did nothing but stare up at her, Orihime knew she'd have to make this decision for herself.

"Alright, then." She said, trying to sound cheerful. "I think I'll just hold it for you. That sounds like the easiest way to do this."

After a bit of repositioning in the chair, Orihime lifted the cake to her Ulqui's mouth and waited for him to react. She watched as he blinked up at her for a bit, before finally looking at the cake and taking a small bite. As he chewed, she smiled brightly, glad that she had read his needs correctly.

The two of them sat in comfortable silence for awhile, Ulqui eating his pokesnack slowly while Orihime held it in front of him. As Ulqui was finishing the piece of cake, Orihime heard the bell on the poke-center's door chime loudly. Glancing over, she almost fell out of her chair when she saw Rukia walking in, her Ichi wandering around close to her legs.

"R-Rukia!" Orihime exclaimed, shocked to see the other girl so soon. "I didn't know you were in this town!"

Rukia looked over when she heard her name, her eyes lighting up when she saw her friend and rival. "Orihime!" She answered, waving as she walked over. "Yeah, Ichi and I just got here a few minutes ago. How are you doing?" She asked, glancing down quickly at the Ulqui sitting on Orihime's lap. Rukia was a bit surprised to notice that he was _glaring_ – not at her, but at her Ichi who was poking around near Orihime's bag. While normally such a look would make her worry, the effect was currently being diminished by the presence of food crumbs on the Bleachmon's chin and cheeks.

"I'm fine." Orihime answered, oblivious to her Ulqui and the murderous intent brewing behind his bright green eyes. "Ulqui and I were just resting. After the day we've had, I think we both deserve it."

"You've had a bit of a long day, huh?" Rukia asked, smiling pleasantly at the other girl. "Well, I guess those kinds of days are to be expected when you're a Bleachmon trainer."

"Yeah, I guess so." Orihime sighed, glancing down at her Ulqui. Noticing the crumbs around his mouth, she moved to gently wipe them away with her shirt sleeve. When he didn't look up at the contact, Orihime followed his gaze to Rukia's Ichi, who was currently playing with the ties on her bag.

Realizing that this may get him into trouble, Orihime reached down and grabbed her bag, pulling it from Ichi's grasp. She felt guilty when the orange-haired Bleachmon pouted at her for taking away his new-found toy, but she knew it was for the best. The poor thing might choke himself on the pull-strings if he wasn't careful.

Setting the bag on the arm of the chair, Orihime turned to Rukia once more. Stifling a sudden yawn, she figured that her exhaustion was finally catching up with her.

"Sorry Rukia." Orihime apologized, her voice sounding tired. "I know it's rude to run off like this after seeing you again, but Ulqui and I should get back to our hotel room. We're both tired and could probably use a nap."

"That's okay." Rukia said, calling her Ichi back over to her. "We should probably go, too. I wanted to stock-up on potions and then try to catch the other trainers before they leave town."

"Be careful, okay?" Orihime called, watching as the other trainer moved away toward the potions on the front counter.

"We will!" Rukia answered, waving good-bye before turning to talk to the nurse about purchasing battle supplies, her Ichi flitting about near her knees.

Turning her attention back to Ulqui, Orihime grinned down at him. "Are you ready to go back to our room?" She asked him.

"Ulqui-Ul." He answered, standing up a bit unsteadily. Helping him keep his balance, Orihime carefully packed the empty pokeball and plastic wrap into her bag. When she was finished, she placed her bag on her shoulder and scooped Ulqui into her arms, holding him close as she stood from the chair.

Stretching for a moment, Orihime groaned as her back cracked. With the thought of a comfy bed awaiting her, she made her way out of the poke-center, listening to the door chimes as they rattled noisily behind her.

=0=

End Notes: I'll probably just keep adding new ficlets to this story via chapters. So, chapter 2 will be a sort-of continuation of this story, along with chapter 3, chapter 4, etc.


	2. Evolution

Here's the next portion of my Pokebleach fangirl fest.

Warning: This shit is bananas.

=0=

"This isn't good."

Orihime Inoue was lost. Not just lost, but really lost. In the woods. At night.

This was not good.

"This isn't good." She repeated, her nervous whisper sounding harsh in the stillness of the night. Holding her map in front of her, Orihime glanced over the crisscrossing lines symbolizing roads and woodlands, the thick paper crinkling in her tense hands. Squinting in the dark, she could barely make out the names of each road on the map – not that reading them would help, though. She'd have to know what road she was on and the forest where it was located for the map to actually be of some use. She really needed to pay more attention to her surroundings.

Taking a deep, calming breath, Orihime lowered the map and took another look around. All she could see were dark trees and underbrush, the light from the half-moon barely peaking through the trees to light her path. As she stood and wondered if she should continue heading north, the wind picked up and whistled eerily through the trees, the sound making Orihime's heart pound in her chest. If she made it to the next town in one piece, she'd buy herself the largest ice-cream sundae available, her waistline be damned.

"I can't believe I got turned around so badly." She said aloud, if only to distract herself from the rustling of bushes and leaves. "I could have sworn I've been walking in the right direction all this time, but then I should have reached the town by now." Brows crinkling in concern, Orihime paced in a circle, worrying her lip with her front teeth.

A sudden flash of green light erupted from her backpack, startling her into a dead stop. Whipping her head to the side, she was relieved to see her Ulqui's pale-white face staring up at her from among the sticks and dirt on the small forest path. Unclenching her hands from around the now-crumpled map, Orihime squatted down in front of him, a shaky smile on her lips.

"Ulqui, you scared me!" She chided, her fingers automatically finding their way to the horn on his half-mask. When he did nothing but look at her blankly, she added, "I'm not mad, though. I'm actually kind of glad you decided to come out. I could really use the company right now."

Releasing his horn, she grasped the map with both hands once more. Lowering it to his eye level, she said, "I've been walking around in these woods since late afternoon, and I still haven't found the way out. I don't think that Ginichi knew what he was talking about when he gave me directions."

Orihime heard Ulqui give a small huff, and when she glanced at his face she noticed his expression looked decidedly exasperated. In the few short weeks they'd been together as Bleachmon and trainer, she had never seen such a look. Suddenly feeling as though she'd said or done something incredibly stupid, Orihime blushed lightly.

"Anyway," she continued, hoping to get the conversation back on track, "we're lost. I've been trying to find where we are on this map, but it's hard when the trees are blocking us in." Pointing to a large blotch of green on the map labeled Viridian Forest, Orihime said, "I think we're somewhere in here, since we left Viridian City this afternoon."

Ulqui blinked slowly as he gazed at the map, his eyes roving over the shadowed pictures carefully. Giving an unenthusiastic, "Ul.", he wandered a few feet away, kicking lightly at a stick near the edge of the path. Glancing over his shoulder at his trainer, he appeared to wait for her to speak.

Sighing softly, Orihime figured that Ulqui didn't know the right way to go, either. "Okay," she conceded, standing and turning to face north once more, "we'll just have to keep walking. I bet it won't be as scary if we keep each other company."

Continuing on the path she had been walking for several hours already, Orihime felt worry beginning to bubble in her chest once more. She didn't want to be out here much longer, and she surely didn't want to sleep out here. Turning her head to look at her Bleachmon, Orihime couldn't help the small smile that formed as she watched him hop over rocks in the path. If worst came to worst and they did have to spend a night out here, she knew that her Ulqui would protect her from any wild Bleachmon wandering around.

With that thought in mind, she felt a little better about their predicament.

After walking along the path for what seemed like another hour, both Orihime and Ulqui froze when they heard a twig snap within the darkness to their right. Jumping as far away from the sound as the thick brush would allow, Orihime held her hands close to her chest in fear, her knuckles turning white from the strain. "W-what was that?" she whispered loudly, wide eyes staring into the darkness with growing panic.

Ulqui immediately hopped in front of his owner, placing himself between her and whatever it was that was lurking in the bushes. Glaring, he stood poised for action, his body tense and his gaze sharp.

Several seconds passed, the silence almost suffocating. Then with a roar, an enormous Bleachmon emerged from the darkness and underbrush, its teeth flashing in the pale moonlight and its single visible eye focused on Orihime.

Crying out in surprise and fright, Orihime stumbled into the bushes behind her, her heart thumping loudly in her ears. The monster before her had to be at least six feet tall, its body covered in armor plating and its head adorned with sharp spikes. The tattered monotone kimono it wore hung limply over its thick shoulders, the frayed edges blowing softly in the cool breeze.

Orihime had never seen anything like it before. However, though this was probably the opportunity of a lifetime to catch a rare and powerful Bleachmon, she was only interested in getting as far from it as possible.

The enemy Bleachmon paused as it studied its new prey, its eye roving over the female trainer before moving down, down, down to the Ulqui glaring fiercely up at it. Opening its jaws, the Bleachmon roared savagely.

"Zarakisaaaaaur!"

With the battle cry still ringing in the air, Ulqui and the Zarakisaur flung themselves at one another, both trying to gain the upper hand. Fortunately for Ulqui, his size allowed him to dodge the larger Bleachmon's blows with relative ease. Using his speed, the small Bleachmon landed several powerful kicks to the other's chest, arms, and waist, though none of them seemed to do any damage.

As Ulqui continued to rain blows on the Zarakisaur, Orihime watched the fierce battle and tried desperately to think of a plan. While Ulqui had gained quite a few levels and abilities during their travels, she didn't know if they would be enough to defeat such a powerful enemy. Maybe if they tried a less physical approach…?

"Ulqui!" Orihime shouted, gaining her Bleachmon's attention. "Use Psychic Cage!"

Ulqui immediately complied, jumping back to gain enough room to perform the attack. When his feet hit the ground, the little Bleachmon opened its eyes wide, focusing the intensity of its stare at the Zarakisaur.

For a brief moment, panic gripped Orihime as she wondered if the attack would have any effect. She waited with baited breath, watching as the enemy Bleachmon came to a standstill mere feet away, his expression going blank. Swallowing thickly, Orihime didn't dare move, afraid that causing a distraction may ruin Ulqui's concentration.

With a tentative step back, the Zarakisaur appeared unsure as to what to do next. It continued to stare into the Ulqui's bright green eyes for several tense seconds, before finally turning around and slowly making its way back into the brush.

Waiting until the large Bleachmon's steps faded into the night, Orihime made a mad grab for her Ulqui, snatching him up and holding him tightly to her chest as she ran for all she was worth.

Orihime raced down the path until she was out of breath, jogging to a gentle stop before squatting on the ground, Ulqui still pressed against her. Hoping she'd gone far enough to discourage the Zarakisaur from following, Orihime placed Ulqui on the ground before her.

One thing was for sure - she didn't want to meet one of those ever, ever gain. Ever.

When she had caught her breath, Orihime grinned widely at Ulqui, her expression one of excited relief. "Oh Ulqui, that was amazing!" She cried, placing her hands on his tiny shoulders. "I'm so proud of you!" With that, she pulled him close and covered his small face with kisses, happy that they were both alright.

While giving Ulqui a rather large kiss on the forehead, she heard him make a strange noise. Pulling back, she studied his face and was shocked to see a light blush decorating his cheeks. As soon as the bizarre image had begun to settle in her mind, Ulqui was engulfed in a bright white light. Covering her eyes, Orihime gasped, confused as to what was going on.

After a moment, the blinding light began to dim and then disappeared altogether. Blinking the spots from her vision, Orihime turned to her Ulqui, her question dying on her tongue as she looked at her Bleachmon. Or rather, her new Bleachmon.

Instead of the Ulqui she had expected to see, a slightly taller Bleachmon stood in his place. While the bored facial expression remained, her Ulqui's mask had grown to cover his head, the horns adorning it now much longer and sharper. His outfit had also changed from his previous jacket and pants to a long white robe of some sort, while his hair was considerably longer.

The most shocking change of all, however, were the pair of bat-like wings which had erupted from his back. Black as the night, the new wings flapped lightly in the open air, the breeze they created causing Orihime's hair to flutter.

Stuttering with shock and awe, Orihime could only watch as her Bleachmon looked himself over, his eyes focusing first on his outfit, then on his new wings. When he faced her once more, he opened his mouth and gave a quiet, "Ulquiorra-Ul."

"W-what?" Orihime squeaked, letting her arms fall heavily to her sides. "You…evolved?" she asked, floored that such a thing had occurred this early in their journey. She honestly didn't even know he had evolved forms, but now the evidence of such changes was staring her in the face.

"So…" she started, leaning closer to her Bleachmon, "you're Ulquiorra now, huh?"

Ulquiorra nodded once.

"I…see." Orihime answered, trying to compose herself. "Well, that was a bit unexpected." Slowly regaining the cheer she had felt before his unexpected change, she offered him a shaky smile. "Unexpected, but wonderful. I can't believe how strong you've gotten already, Ulquiorra." Placing her hand on top of his head, she added quietly, "I'm so glad you're with me."

Ulquiorra appeared slightly flustered at her words, but his expression quickly went back to its normal state. Stepping back a couple paces from his owner, Ulquiorra tested his new wings. Giving them a few experimental flaps, he then looked to Orihime expectantly.

As though someone had flipped a switch, Orihime shot to her feet, an idea forming in her mind. Of course!

"Ulquiorra!" she cried, joy and hope filling her voice. "Now that you have wings, you can fly above the trees and see where we are. We'll be out of these woods in no time!"

Immediately, Ulquiorra opened his wings and jumped into the air, carrying himself up through the dense trees to view the land beyond.

As she waited for him to come back and report on what he'd seen, Orihime couldn't help the grin that was practically splitting her face in two. It looked like she'd get her ice cream sundae, after all.

=0=

I warned you: That shit was bananas.

Notes:

Ginichi = Gin Ichimaru. Lulz.

I swear to God, I couldn't stop laughing when I wrote Zarakisaur's line. Also, for some reason, when I envision Zarakisaur, I can't help but think of Teru-Shark from The Little Merman (a cracky Death Note comic over on DA).

Ulqui's move "Psychic Cage" was inspired by the manga – specifically the part where Ulquiorra is telling Nnoitra how he and Aizen have placed Orihime in a psychic cage to keep her in line.

Hur Hur, I iz smrt.


	3. Pewter City Gym

Haha! I wrote another Pokebleach travesty.

Notes:

I based the inside of the Pewter City gym on the anime version, mostly because I like that one better. I also changed the Pewter gym pokemon type from rock to fighting, because it wouldn't make sense for Orihime to be fighting the earth-type gym leader at this point. And also, because, you know, I wanted to. So nyah.

=0=

It felt like her entire body was shaking as Orihime stepped foot into the large battle arena, the lack of adequate lighting lending the room an eerie atmosphere. Taking in her surroundings, she could see huge boulders and sharp rocks occupying the majority of the room, their bulk hiding most of the back area from view. Remembering what the PokeMart owner had told her, she knew that the rocks were there to give Halibel's fighting-type Bleachmon the upper-hand when battling.

Palms beginning to sweat, Orihime walked tentatively toward the edge of the battle ground, a small part of her worried that some horrifying monster would jump out from behind a boulder and try to eat her. Although she told herself that she was just being silly, Orihime couldn't help stepping back a few paces to give the closest set of rocks a wide berth.

When the sound of heavy footfalls started to echo around her, Orihime froze. Wide-eyed, she furiously glanced around the dark arena, trying to find where the noise was coming from. Without thinking, her hand reached over to take Ulquiorra's pokeball from the side pocket of her bag, the feel of the small orb in her hand serving to calm her frayed nerves.

As the footsteps grew louder, Orihime looked toward the back of the room, focusing on one of the shadowed hallways leading out of the battle arena. Slowly, she saw the shape of a darkly tanned woman emerge from the tunnel.

"Am I to assume that you are my challenger?" the woman asked, her voice a low purr. She came to a stop near a large boulder, her arms crossing under her large (and practically bare) breasts.

Orihime was stunned. _This_ was the gym leader? She honestly couldn't believe what she was seeing. With hair the color of straw and a rather…_revealing_ outfit, this wasn't what Orihime had pictured when envisioning Halibel, the famed gym leader of Pewter City.

"Uh..um. Y-yes. My name is Orihime. I've come to challenge you for the Boulder badge."

Halibel paused, her eyes roving over her newest opponent. The girl looked as though she was about to faint from anxiety. "Is this your first gym battle?" the older woman asked, already expecting the coming answer.

"Well…yes." Orihime said, holding Ulquiorra's pokeball close to her chest, her fingers gripping it tightly.

"I see." Halibel murmured, raising her hand into the air. "Then I won't make you wait any longer." With a snap of her elegant fingers the lights above turned on, the sudden brightness in the room causing Orihime's eyes to water.

Blinking rapidly, Orihime waited for her vision to adjust. When she could look at Halibel without the other woman appearing blurred, she noticed that the gym leader now held a pokeball in her hand. Heart thumping rapidly, the situation was finally sinking in. She was about to enter her first gym battle.

"Is that the only Bleachmon you are using during this battle?" Halibel asked suddenly.

"Yes." Orihime answered, clutching Ulquiorra's pokeball tighter.

"Then I hope it has the strength to survive this gym challenge." With that, the richly tanned gym leader threw her pokeball into the center of the arena, the small orb opening before it hit the ground. In a flash of light, a four-legged Bleachmon appeared, its hooves grinding into the rough terrain. "Show her what it takes to be a Bleachmon master, Apadoe."

Orihime studied the newly revealed Bleachmon curiously. It appeared to be a small deer of some sort, though its horns looked far more wicked than any deer Orihime had seen before. Watching as the Bleachmon stamped in place, Orihime realized that it was waiting impatiently for her to release Ulquiorra into the battle.

It was now or never. "Ulquiorra!" Orihime yelled, her voice steadier than she felt. She threw her pokeball to meet the Apadoe, her moody Bleachmon appearing before the other in a flash of green.

"Defeat her, Ulquiorra!" Orihime called, nervous about the outcome of this battle. While she trusted her Bleachmon fully, she wasn't completely confident that his evolution and significant level growth were enough to take down Halibel's own trained Bleachmon.

As Ulquiorra and Apadoe ran at one another to begin exchanging blows, Orihime pulled a potion from her bag and readied it for use. If her Bleachmon gained too much damage, she would need to act fast to heal him before any finishing blows were dealt.

Watching the battle rage on before her, Orihime flinched each time Ulquiorra took damage from his opponent's sharp hooves and horns. However, the deer-like Bleachmon was in worse shape, her fur singed in several large patches from Uqluiorra's Cero attack. The Apadoe was also breathing harshly, its sides expanding and contracting at a quick pace as it tried to keep up with the other's aerial attacks.

After what seemed like only a minute or two of fighting, the battle ended abruptly when Apadoe was knocked back by a powerful kick. She hit the ground near Halibel's feet, unmoving. The gym leader glanced down at her defeated Bleachmon, her brows furrowing. Holding out a pokeball, she called Apadoe back to her.

"You fought well, Apadoe." Halibel whispered lowly, moving to exchange Apadoe's pokeball with another from within her pants pocket. "Allow Sunsparce to continue this battle, and avenge your pain."

Tossing the new pokeball into the battle arena, Halibel watched as her Sunsparce emerged. The snake-like Bleachmon immediately raced toward her opponent, intent on seeking revenge for her fallen comrade. With a whip of her tail, she tried to grab and strangle the enemy Bleachmon, but Ulquiorra was far too quick. He easily dodged the attack by leaping into the air and gliding over Sunsparce to land several yards away, his face revealing nothing to his adversary.

The two Bleachmon continued the vicious fight, Ulquiorra raining Ceros and harsh kicks to Halibel's Sunsparce, using his wings to stay safely out of reach of the other's tail. Trying to counter Ulquiorra's flying abilities, Sunsparce began spitting poison at her moving target, the concoction eating through any material it touched. One of her shots managed to hit its mark, the poison splattering across Ulquiorra's chest.

The pale Bleachmon gave a small gasp, his surprise causing him to miss a wing beat and fall to the ground. He managed to land on his feet and continue to dodge the Sunsparce's deadly tail, but his movements became visibly slower as the poison ate through his robe and reached the flesh beneath.

"Ulquiorra!" Orihime cried, immediately using her free hand to dig through her bag for an antidote. Luckily, she had thought ahead and had stocked up on battle supplies at the Pewter City PokeMart. It was nice to see that her preparations had come in handy.

Grasping one of the small bottles, she pulled it from her knapsack and removed the cork with her teeth, a loud 'pop' accompanying the gesture. Spitting the cork out quickly, she called her Bleachmon to her while she held the small vial at the ready. Ulquiorra arrived soon after hearing his name, managing to escape the enemy long enough to join his master and have the antidote poured on his wound. Hissing quietly as it began to take effect, he hopped back into battle, soon forgetting the pain as it was dulled to a minor throb.

While Sunsparce proved a much tougher opponent than Apadoe, she too eventually fell under Ulquiorra's attacks. Orihime was thrilled, her nervousness beginning to disappear as she watched Halibel call the now unconscious Bleachmon back into her pokeball. However, it didn't appear that Halibel was finished, since she took yet another pokeball from her pocket and readied herself to throw it into the arena.

Taking this chance to prepare Ulquiorra for another fight, Orihime used a potion to heal his wounds and replenish his energy. Her Bleachmon let out a small grunt when the potion started to work, the red welts on his chest caused by the Sunsparce's poison disappearing to be replaced by new flesh. Oddly enough, his robe also patched itself together, leaving Ulquiorra looking as though nothing had happened.

Choosing not to think about it, Orihime turned her gaze back to Halibel and watched as the third pokeball was thrown into the arena. As the gym leader's next Bleachmon emerged, Orihime's eyes widened. It appeared to be a large cat, the golden mane that flowed from its head and down its back reminding her of a lion.

"Glamila," she heard Halibel say, apparently addressing the newly released Bleachmon, "Your opponent is before you. He's defeated both Sunsparce and Apadoe. You must defeat him and defend their honor as gym-level Bleachmon."

"Glamila-Mew!" The lion-like Bleachmon growled, her four enormous paws pounding the ground as she ran toward Ulquiorra. Reaching him, she took a giant leap into the air, her maw opened wide to try and grab his wings.

Ulquiorra jumped to the side and kicked out harshly, landing a blow to the side of the Glamila-Mew's head. Smashing into the ground nearby, the feline Bleachmon got to her feet, shaking the resulting dizziness away. Sending Ulquiorra a harsh glare as he fluttered just above the ground, the other Bleachmon opened her jaws and released a loud roar, the sound causing the boulders in the arena to shudder. The noise made Orihime's heart stutter in her chest, but Ulquiorra appeared unaffected.

Narrowing his eyes, the winged Bleachmon flew toward his enemy, his speed staggering. The second before he reached the other, Ulquiorra lowered his head, his thick helmet slamming into the Glamila-Mew's side. Continuing with the attack, Ulquiorra pushed his opponent across the arena floor, beating his wings with all his might until he had smashed Glamila-Mew into a large boulder near the edge of the battlefield.

The lion-like Bleachmon roared out in pain, her side aching and the wind knocked from her lungs. She struggled to remove herself from Ulquiorra's attack range, finally managing to wiggle away from him. Hurt and exhausted, Glamila collapsed to the rocky ground, breathing harshly. Though her body screamed in protest, she tried to stand again, rage coloring her vision red. Preparing to lunge at her enemy with the last of her strength, she was overpowered when the other Bleachmon delivered a volley of bone-shattering hits. Using his fists, legs, and helmet, Ulquiorra tried to ensure that the Glamila-Mew didn't stand again.

The attack came to a sudden halt when, without warning, Glamila-Mew disappeared from the battlefield. Ulquiorra appeared confused for a moment, stopping to glance over his shoulder to see Halibel lower the pokeball in her hand. Realizing that his opponent had been removed from the fight and thus disqualified, Ulquiorra's tense muscles relaxed minutely. Walking back to the center of the arena, he awaited his next challenge.

Halibel stood pensively at the other end of the arena, her arms crossed once more. Orihime was about to ask her if the gym challenge was over, but before she could speak, Halibel was reaching into her pocket once more.

"I didn't want to resort to using my last Bleachmon." She said, closing her eyes gently. "However, it would appear that you've trained your Ulquiorra well. Therefore, I have no other choice."

Glancing once more at Orihime, Halibel tossed her last pokeball into the arena. As it opened, another flash of bright light preceded the coming Bleachmon. When the light had dissipated, Orihime studied the creature before her with confusion.

Compared to Halibel's Glamila-Mew, this new Bleachmon looked like a housecat. It had large pointed blue ears, a bushy tail, and stood on four tiny paws. Honestly, it was one of the most adorable things Orihime had ever seen. She was more tempted to pet it than battle it.

The cat-like Bleachmon shook himself as he stood in place, his fur standing on end for a moment. When Halibel addressed him, the Bleachmon turned his head to look at his master with what appeared to be a bored expression on his face.

"Grimmkit," Halibel said, shifting slightly. "You are the last Bleachmon who stands against our challenger. It's up to you to stop this trainer and her Ulquiorra from taking the Boulder Badge."

Snorting loudly, the Grimmkit turned back to his foe, his eyes focusing on Ulquiorra. Lips raising into a crooked grin, the Bleachmon bared his sharp teeth at his opponent. Ulquiorra merely stood still, uncaring of the display.

Angry that he was being ignored, the Grimmkit began pacing around Ulquiorra, never taking his eyes off the other Bleachmon. When his enemy made no move to attack him, Grimmkit growled low in his throat and lashed out with his claws extended. He wasn't too surprised when his prey flew into the air and away from his attack, those powerful wings creating a whirlwind of dust and debris around them both. Staring up at the hovering Bleachmon, Grimmkit stood quietly and thought about his next attack.

The truth was, Grimmkit was a devious Bleachmon with a long battle history, and he knew exactly how to take advantage of his surroundings to gain the upper-hand in a fight. Baring his teeth in another grin, he ran to the side and jumped onto a large boulder, gaining speed the closer he came to his opponent.

Ulquiorra's eyes widened at the bold move, and he quickly flew backwards to dodge the perceived attack. However, Grimmkit had expected this, and so changed direction at the last moment, jumping from the edge of the rock to slam headfirst into the other Bleachmon.

The added weight put far too much strain on his wings, forcing Ulquiorra to the ground. With a grunt, he slammed into the rocky surface of the battle arena, his shoulder taking the brunt of the fall. Aching and slightly dazed, he almost had his throat ripped out by the overly ambitious Grimmkit. Rolling to the side to put distance between himself and those sharp fangs, Ulquiorra jumped to his feet and away from the other, hissing through his teeth at the pain in his arm and shoulder.

Now irritated, Ulquiorra raised his hand and prepared to fire a Cero. He was surprised to see the Grimmkit open its mouth instead of running, and even more shocked when, just as he fired his Cero, the Grimmkit fired his own. The two powerful attacks collided near the center of the battlefield, the resulting explosion throwing Orihime to the ground and both Bleachmon to opposite ends of the arena.

It took several long seconds for the dust to settle. As Ulquiorra focused on the back wall of the arena, he realized with a jolt that the Grimmkit had disappeared. Tensing, he looked side to side, trying to locate his enemy. The room was filled with a heavy silence, the only sounds being those of his master getting back to her feet. Straining, Ulquiorra listened for any sign of the Grimmkit, frustrated when there was no indication of the other Bleachmon's whereabouts.

Deciding to reach higher ground for a better vantage point, Ulquiorra flapped his wings experimentally. Moving them was a little painful, but he only needed them as leverage to climb the nearest boulder. Cautiously, he walked to a rocky ledge and used his wings to jump into the air. Grabbing the rocks, he climbed as quickly as possible up the side of the boulder.

He had almost made it to the top when the whisper of wind in his ears made him aware of an oncoming attack. Flattening himself to the boulder, he felt a sharp tug at his back and almost cried out as claws and teeth tore through his left wing. He could hear his master shouting at him, probably wishing to heal him now that he was seriously injured. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough time. Ulquiorra doubted the Grimmkit would give him the opportunity to heal, and would probably be coming back for another attack momentarily.

Deciding he had to finish this fight quickly, Ulquiorra pushed himself to reach the top of the boulder. Looking out over the battlefield, he spotted the Grimmkit as it dashed behind some nearby rocks. Tensing, Ulquiorra jumped from ledge to ledge, closing in on his opponent. The Grimmkit saw him coming and attempted to attack him from below, though with a twist in midair Ulquiorra was able to dodge snapping teeth.

Delivering a swift kick to the Grimmkit's side, Ulquiorra knocked him off balance and sent him careening into the ground. Before the other Bleachmon could recover completely, Ulquiorra was upon him. Head lowered, the winged Bleachmon knocked the Grimmkit several feet away with a head butt, the power of the attack lessened due to his useless left wing.

Enraged, the Grimmkit climbed to his feet and came at Ulquiorra, his mouth opened wide and teeth bared in a snarl. Expecting the attack, Ulquiorra moved to evade it, his actions much slower than usual. With a triumphant growl, Grimmkit snapped his jaws down on the other's right wing, digging his incisors deep into the thin flesh.

Ignoring the pain in his wing, Ulquiorra turned awkwardly to face the Grimmkit and snatched at the scruff of its neck. Holding the other in place, Ulquiorra threw out his hand and unleashed a Cero, putting the last of his strength into the blow.

He heard the Grimmkit howl in pain and felt it try to pull away, but Ulquiorra held on tight to the excess fur on the back of its neck. When the Cero ended and the dust began to settle, Ulquiorra threw the now unconscious Bleachmon into the middle of the arena. Wings dripping blood, he walked slowly toward his owner, each step causing his wings and shoulder to scream with agony.

As Orihime ran toward Ulquiorra brandishing a potion, Halibel returned her Grimmkit to his pokeball. Watching the young trainer fawn over her Bleachmon and tend to his wounds, Halibel made a decision. Removing a small metallic object from under her shirt collar, she approached Orihime with an air of finality.

"You've done well, trainer." Halibel murmured, catching the younger girl by surprise. "As a show of both your strength and the strength of your Bleachmon, I offer you the Boulder Badge." Stepping forward, she handed the badge to the woman who was kneeling on the stone floor.

Accepting the badge with one shaky hand as she held Ulquiorra close with the other, Orihime was shocked into silence. Nodding to show her appreciation, she awkwardly maneuvered her arm around Ulquiorra's damaged wings and used both hands to pin the badge to her jacket. When she was finished, she quickly placed the empty potion bottle in her bag and stood, her hand resting on Ulquiorra's helmet.

"Thank you." Orihime said when she had found her voice. Throwing a relieved smile toward Ulquiorra, Orihime held up his empty pokeball. Calling him back into it, she promised that she would take him to a PokeCenter the moment they left the gym. While the potion had helped heal some of his wounds, his wings were still in horrible condition and needed to be assessed by a nurse.

Holding Ulquiorra's pokeball in her hands, Orihime settled her bag on her shoulder and began to leave.

"Wait." Halibel called, her voice echoing in the silence of the arena. When Orihime turned back and looked at her expectantly, Halibel moved to stand in front of the young trainer. "I have something else I'd like to give to you."

Holding out the pokeball containing Grimmkit, Halibel stood motionless with her face completely void of emotion. She watched the younger woman sputter nonsensically for a moment, shock and confusion written plainly on her features. Figuring that the girl needed more of an explanation, Halibel said, "While my Grimmkit has fought well these past few years, I have noticed that he has not fully accepted me as his master. He also appears to have reached a limit in his power, one which I have been unable to help him overcome."

Visibly uncomfortable, Halibel's eyes lowered to stare at the pokeball in her hand. After taking in a short breath, she continued. "I have seen how deeply you care for your Bleachmon, and I have also seen how that care has affected his development. I believe you are a truly gifted trainer – one who would be able to raise this Grimmkit to his full potential."

Still in shock, Orihime didn't know what to say. She felt Halibel grab her arm and place Grimmkit's pokeball in her outstretched hand. "Please," Halibel murmured, "Take him with you." Swallowing hard, Orihime could do nothing but nod dumbly. Pulling the oddly warm pokeball close, she watched as Pewter City's gym leader turned and walked away, leaving the way she had come.

Glancing down at the pokeball in her hands, Orihime didn't know what to say. Dumbstruck, she stowed both Ulquiorra and her new Grimmkit in her knapsack. Not quite realizing what she was getting herself into, she left the arena and headed toward the exit. Blinking as she opened the door to blinding sunlight, Orihime let her feet carry her toward the nearest PokeCenter.

Mind racing, she wondered how her Ulquiorra would react to the news of Grimmkit joining their party.

This was going to be interesting.

=0=

End Notes:

#$&#& Why does Halibel have to have so many friggin' fraccion? I wasn't enthusiastic about writing all of those battle scenes, but if felt odd to skip over them all. :/ All well, at least I don't plan on doing anything that detailed again. (Screw you, Grimmjow. I'm so glad you're a Bleachmon in this universe instead of a gym leader.)

If anyone is wondering why Orihime is acting so scared of practically everything, it's because she's only at the beginning of her journey. Believe me, by the time she's gained a bit more experience and won more battles, she'll be uber confident. She's still getting used to this Bleachmon trainer gig, so a bit of nerves is to be expected.

Apadoe is supposed to be the unevolved form of Apache. Sun-Sun = Sunsparce. Mila Rose = Glamila-Mew. I couldn't think of better names for their Bleachmon forms. xD Sorry…


	4. Bros? Hell no!

Finally, after much anticipation (that's the correct word for it, right?), here is the next installment of my Pokebleach travesty.

Sorry that I fail when it comes to updating fanfiction in a timely manner. I actually only found the motivation to write this thanks to the How to Train Your Dragon book series. Toothless' attitude in those books encompasses my ideas of Grimmkit and his "fuck you, I don't want to" demeanor.

Quick note: Please keep in mind that I switched the Pewter City and Fuchsia City gyms for this universe. So, the Pewter City gym still gives the Boulder Badge, but the Pokemon type was fighting rather than rock type.

WARNING: THIS STORY IS STRICTLY CRACK. PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE READING THIS SHIT.

=0=

As she walked down the dusty road of Route 3, Orihime couldn't hold back the large grin pulling at her lips. She had won! She had defeated the gym leader of Pewter City, and with her victory she had earned her first training badge. Glancing down at the piece of metal pinned to her shirt, she allowed her smile to grow even wider. She was one step closer to becoming a Bleachmon master.

Stopping in the middle of the path, Orihime reached up to play with the rock-shaped Boulder badge, watching as its surface reflected the midday sunlight. Such a small thing, and yet it had taken weeks of training and a tough battle to earn the right to wear it. Thinking back to the fight with the Pewter gym leader, Orihime was still in shock over her success.

Even more unbelievable was the second pokeball that now sat snugly in the side pocket of her bag. Orihime still couldn't wrap her head around the fact the Halibel had actually awarded her the woman's own personal Grimmkit. However, even if it didn't make much sense, it didn't change the reality that she now had two Bleachmon under her care.

Orihime pumped her fist purposefully, swearing to herself that she would keep both Grimmkit and Ulquiorra safe and happy throughout their journey. Not only was it what a proper Bleachmon master would do, she also felt that she owned it to them.

=0=

Unfortunately for Orihime, traveling through the wilderness was not her forte. As the sun beat down on her head and shoulders, the young trainer trudged down the dirt road, her steps causing unsettled dust to rise into the air and stick to the material of her dress skirt. Sighing loudly and wishing for all the world that she were in an air conditioned hotel room, Orihime spotted something in the distance that would offer her a bit of relief from the noon-day sun.

Forcing her tired legs to move at a faster pace, the young woman closed in on a large oak tree situated near the side of the road. Upon reaching her salvation, Orihime dove under the tree and landed on her belly in the soft grass at its base. Dropping her bag to lie beside her, Orihime folded her arms to use as a make-shift pillow.

Several minutes went by in peaceful silence. Just as the trainer was beginning to fall into a light doze, she heard a rustling noise coming from her bag. Throwing the object a confused glance, Orihime noticed one of her occupied pokeballs moving within the pocket of her knapsack. Raising her eyebrow, she reached over to free the ball from its confines. Realizing which of her Bleachmon was demanding her attention, Orihime couldn't hold back her curiosity any longer.

With the press of a button and a flash of light, Orihime's new Grimmkit emerged from his spherical container. As the light from the pokeball dissipated, Orihime was left staring into the eyes of a very ruffled Bleachmon.

For all intents and purposes, the creature before her could have very well been an oversized house cat. However, unlike a normal feline, his fur was a gorgeous shade of blue which shined in the afternoon light. A large tuft of fur lined his spine and grew into a rather impressive mane of hair, the majority of which had almost managed to hide the oversized cat ears sitting atop his head. Orihime also noticed that, as with her Ulquiorra, the Grimmkit had a bone-like mask piece on one portion of his head. Though, instead of resembling a horned helmet like that of Ulquiorra, her new Grimmkit had what appeared to be part of a jaw bone resting just to the side of his face.

Orihime couldn't help but think that the mask fragment gave the small Bleachmon an altogether feral and unsettling look.

Flicking his ears irritably and puffing himself up to look intimidating, the young trainer's newest Bleachmon glanced quickly from her to their surroundings, his cerulean eyes sharp. Having seen nothing of interest, the Grimmkit returned his focus to his new "owner." Snarling, the feline Bleachmon dug his claws into the dirt and gave a low hiss, satisfied when the human girl leaned away from him, her expression unsure.

Tension began to build as a pregnant silence erupted between the two. Swallowing nervously, Orihime stared into the Bleachmon's eyes, their color seeming to draw her in. When the feline remained on the defensive, Orihime sighed inwardly, realizing that she should have expected this behavior. 'Of course he's not going to like me at first. We only just met, and I took him from what could have easily been the only owner he's ever known.' That thought made her frown lightly, her eyes becoming sad.

Figuring that she'd have to make the first move and see if she could gain her Grimmkit's trust, Orihime slowly reached for her bag, her eyes never leaving those of the Grimmkit. Snatching the strap of her satchel, Orihime dragged it close and began rummaging carefully through her item stock, careful not to make any sudden movements. Locating what she wanted, the trainer pulled the small item from her inventory and then placed the bag back to her side.

Fiddling with the tiny package in her hands, the young woman paused briefly before unwrapping what turned out to be a Bleachmon snack. Placing it gingerly at the Grimmkit's feet, she sat stoically, waiting for his reaction.

Snarling, Grimmkit flicked his tail irritably, glaring at the fool human girl before him. Unimpressed by her offer of food - he wasn't some stray cat to be pitied! – he jerked his head to the side and closed his eyes, rejection written loud and clear in his body language.

Orihime frowned, unsure how to handle this unexpected issue. She desperately wanted her Grimmkit to learn to trust her, but he didn't seem at all interested in being her Bleachmon. Disheartened, Orihime glanced toward the grass beneath her, thinking hard on possible ways to raise her compatibility with the fussy feline.

A sudden bright flash of light shocked the trainer from her thoughts, her body flinching in surprise. Eyes wide, she found the source of the light. Somehow, Ulquiorra's Pokeball had forced its way open, revealing the somber Bleachmon standing quietly beside Grimmkit. The feline jumped to attention and turned to face the newcomer, bearing his teeth in challenge. Ulquiorra made no move toward either his owner or the flee-ridden piece of trash she had picked up in Pewter City, instead preferring to stand perfectly still and assess the situation.

Green eyes moved from Orihime's tense posture, to the Bleachmon snack lying in the grass, and finally landed on the clearly pissed Grimmkit beside him. Putting on an air of complete and utter boredom, Ulquiorra blinked leisurely, staring straight into the mongrel's eyes. Watching nervously, Orihime wasn't sure what she could do to defuse the situation. Grimmkit looked like he was about to commit murder, while Ulquiorra – unknowingly or otherwise – spurred him on by acting nonchalant.

After a short moment filled with tension, Ulquiorra completely bypassed the snarling Grimmkit and unabashedly snatched the Bleachmon snack from the ground. Taking a large bite, he chewed unhurriedly, his focus never leaving the other Bleachmon.

Both Orihime and Grimmkit were floored. Mouth hanging open, Orihime was now sure that she was going to have a fight on her hands.

Not one to disappoint, Grimmkit's eyes grew impossibly wide at the other's audacity. With a mighty roar, he pounced on Ulquiorra, his furious snarls soon joined by the flying Bleachmon's own growls of anger and annoyance. The scuffling Bleachmon moved around the oak tree's base, their flailing limbs and claws leaving Orihime's backpack and supplies strewn across the ground in disarray.

While their miniature battle ensued, the Bleachmon's young trainer was desperately trying to pull them apart. Finally managing to grab hold of Grimmkit's tail, Orihime urgently tried to pry him away from Ulquiorra. The feline gave a loud shriek of pain and rage, but was quickly silenced by a harsh smack from one of Ulquiorra's wings.

Incensed at their petty actions, Orihime finally lost it.

"Alright, that's enough!" She cried, using all of her strength to pin Grimmkit to the ground. He squirmed and hissed angrily, but Orihime was having none of it. "I said enough! Don't make me sit on you, Grimmkit!"

Apparently, her new Bleachmon was familiar with that particular method of forced cooperation. Ears lowering grumpily, the feline stopped his struggling and glared daggers at Ulquiorra, huffing sulkily.

"Now then," Orihime said, keeping her voice calm, "It's time the both of you learned to be civil toward one another. Alright?" Glancing at Ulquiorra, Orihime leveled him with a glare. She knew she had made her point when the instigator turned his head and looked at nothing in particular, mouth turned down into a small frown.

"Alright." Orihime muttered, loosening her grip on Grimmkit little by little to gauge his reaction. When he remained in place, fuming but otherwise calm, the young woman sat back with a sigh of relief. Getting to her feet, Orihime dusted herself off and collected the two pokeballs that had been briefly lost in the earlier altercation.

Calling both Bleachmon back into their respective pokeballs, Orihime frowned momentarily. 'How on Earth am I going to get these two to cooperate?' She thought, perplexed. She already knew that offering food was a bad idea and would most likely lead to a fight, so what else was there to do?

Shaking her head, she placed the pokeballs back in the side pockets of her knapsack, making sure they were well away from one another. She'd figure it out later, she supposed - preferably while she was staying somewhere that actually had a bed and air-conditioning.

Fanning herself, the young trainer moved to collect her things. As she returned to the dirt road and continued her journey, Orihime wondered if she'd ever be able to have a quiet afternoon again.

=0=

Spoiler Alert: That's not likely, Orihime. Lulz.

Notes:

Lulz, I totally sit on my cats if they're being douchewaffles when it comes to taking medicine.

I apologize if there aren't a lot of lulz to be found in this chapter. I tried to make up for it by supplying you with an overload of sugary-sweet crack.

Here's an extra special sneak peak at the next installment in the drama that is Pokebleach:

ORIHIME TRIES TO CATCH HER OWN ICHI. GRIMMKIT AND ULQUIORRA ARE UNAMUSED.


End file.
